Bad Boy

Some Random Mommy thoughts for today:

• What is up with my son calling me and everyone else "Bad Boy"? Everything and everyone is Bad Boy these days. All you have to do is look at him funny and you, my friend, are a "BAD BOY". Now, I know what you're thinking. "Hmmm, he must get that from somewhere. That's not nice to call your son bad boy." No, I do NOT call my son bad boy. In fact, I have always tried hard to never refer to my children as bad or good but rather to only refer to their choices as poor or good. I have his oldest sister to blame for the Bad Boy thing.
• Not only is this little man into calling everyone Bad, he doesn't think twice about smacking his sisters in the head, grabbing their hair, and throwing his toys across the room while he grunts and hits his chest.  Okay, so no grunting or chest pumps but he might as well.  His morning consisted of at least 3-5 time outs in his crib.  "Bad Boy Chillin' in the Crib" would be the title of his movie if he had a movie made after him.  
• Little man Runninghood really is a great kid.  He has a lot to compete with to get our attention and I bet it is hard being 20 months when you can't quite express yourself in fluent sentences.  I'd probably throw, grunt, and express my power and control in little ways throughout the day too.  

Oh, how I love this little man anyway!

• Why do my daughters insist on fighting over almost identical unicorn jewelry boxes that have been forgotten about for the past year? Each one so fired up and insistent that THEIRS is the one with the Unicorn with the bigger horn or something. Good grief. Both of the boxes are mine now. I will find a use for them. 

•  Why did I think it might be a good idea to take my exhausted and feisty 20 month old and 3 year old into Portland Running Company to find the perfect shoe for me? What was I thinking? And I will never again argue with people that tell me that having a boy is an entirely different ball game! I BELIEVE YOU NOW!!! Thank God that the retired professional bad ass runner dude who was watching me run and fitting me with the perfect shoe had kids of his own. He seemed to understand. Yet one more reason why I LOVE the Portland Running Company and now feel even more guilty about being a cheating running shoe whore and shopping at RunningWarehouse online. After today, I will never cheat again. Unless Running Warehouse has an awesome sale. 

Shoes Shoes Shoes and More Shoes

• Didn't Amanda just buy a crap load of shoes online?! Why oh why is she shopping for shoes AGAIN?! 
• Yes, yes, Yes, I did. But. I'm not sold on them. I've run 1-2 times on the treadmill with the Mizuno Inspires and I tried out the Wave Riders briefly...just not working for me. 
• I'm returning my shoes from Running Warehouse. 
• I'm determined to find "MY SHOE" 
• I ran for the super awesome runner dude at Portland Running Company in a variety of shoes. He told me that I'm not really overpronating much at all. He suggested a neutral shoe with mild support. 
• He fit me in an Asics Gel Cumulous 12. A neutral Shoe with some support. 
• Why are some Asics shoes named after clouds? 
• I also bought a pair of Brooks Launch shoes for my speed/tempo days and for racing in. 
• I will try both of these shoes out this week on the treadmill and then return them if they don't work. The Portland Running Company is cool like that. 
• I'm excited if the Brooks Launch shoes work for me because then I can be just like Jenn. No, really, I've heard they are a great shoe and I'd love them to be great for me too. 
• Still can't believe that I've been running for so many years and don't really have "MY Shoe" yet. Having kids took me out for awhile (my choice) and then this hamstring injury changed the way running feels to me. 

Random Running Thoughts

• I'm trying to stay positive and dream big 
• The past few days there has been a tiny voice in the back of my head saying things like "What if you don't have it in you to run like you want to now?" "What if you will never run fast? You really are dreaming too big. Who do you think you are? There are so many people better than you so what are you joking yourself for? Why are you taking this so seriously when you really don't matter in the big picture of good runners?" I'm trying to silence this voice and keep on keeping on. I'm trying to remind myself that it is about being the best runner that I can be...pushing myself to MY limits...not somebody else's limits. 

• This is important to me. I don't plan on being this obsessed about running forever. Once I prove to myself that I can still do it and that I can be better than I ever was ready for before, then I think I will probably go back to enjoying running for fitness and fun. 
• Something irritating about my husband calling himself a "non runner" but then texting me that he just ran our 5k race course that we are running in a couple weeks and just casually noting that he ran it in 19:17 (not racing). So easy for him and his nonrunner self. Grrr. At least he is going to pace me when we run it. 
• Excited for my increased mileage and workouts this week!

Amanda

The Runner's Journal--Tapping Inspiration and Motivation Through Reflection, Creativity, and Personal Expression

I've always been a journal, writer's notebook, travel notes, running log kind of girl.  I love the "coming home" feeling I get when I return to my own special place for writing down my dreams, my worries, thoughts, reflections and goals.  A place just for me.  I have at least 12 to 15 journals filling my bedroom shelf.  Travel journals, writer's notebooks where I've practiced the craft of writing and written with more intention, running logs, journals I've written to and for my children, marriage journals between my husband and I over the years, and the many journals from my life through college and on.  I even have my very first diary from third grade.  I use this one to show my students when I am having them start their writer's notebooks at the start of the year.  
Oh, and I also have my journal from high school.  It is taped up tight.  In fact, I really should burn it.  God forbid anyone  ever read that thing.  My parents did once actually.  Wasn't a pretty story.  For any of us.  My step dad took a break from his studies to "have a chat with me".  This was serious if he was interrupting his 10th time reading the same book (I think he was reading some Freud book at the time).  He never interrupted his studies or art time. I knew I was in trouble. I thought it was for all the bad stuff I had written in my journal.  All the secrets I trusted my journal with.  I've learned since then.  But, no, I wasn't in trouble for anything that was written in my journal.  I was getting a talk about the way I wrote.  Yes, being the literary genius he was, my dad calmly said something like "Amanda, if you are going to write something in a book that will someday be seen by others, at least make it well written".   


I do believe that most of my writing in my journals recently has been more of lists of happiness, goals for my life, things I don't ever want to forget.  When I'm feeling angry or sad, I try to use my journals to write down things in my life that I'm thankful for and positive goals that will help me make good of the situation.  I try to keep from including my dirty laundry or bad feelings about people.  If I need a vent or a rant I can write it down and throw it away.  


Keeping a Running Log is also something I've done several times with my training.  I had a really great one going before I was injured last August.  This time around I've tried Daily Mile and Recording my workouts on my blog.  Nothing has felt right.  In fact, I've just felt a sort of magic missing with my training.  A missing puzzle piece.  Tonight I realized that I was missing out on my Running Journal!  I was forgetting the most important piece for me as a reflective person who loves writing and seeing the whole picture come together.  I was missing the most personal and private and wonderful way for me to express myself and see my accomplishments.  My running blog has served this purpose somewhat but there is something big to be said about being able to go grab my journals off the shelves in my house that hold my most precious books and just read and remember.  


My Running Log/Journal might have these things:
*  writing down my plan and then reflecting on how it went.  
*  I make little notes in there about how I'm feeling, what I'm eating, new goals as they change based on my workouts, etc. 
*  I include big dreams that seem impossible and that I'm not ready to share with the world
*  I even take time for the occasional cut a paste craft project where I cut out phrases and pictures that are inspirational to me and make what I call vision collages that get me pumped up.  
*  Inspirational quotes or stickers
*  Motivational letters or pep talks to myself
*  Writing entries as if my race is happening and telling my story the way I want it to be.  


So, I'm so excited to say that tonight I got a much needed break after 4 or 5 days with sick kids and a husband out of town.  My husband sent me to the coffee shop for some ME time and he has called once to model just how being a "cool" partner is done.  Gosh I love this man. Even when I'm an awful wife and completely fail on the "cool wife" level, he always shows me generosity and love.  

So I took about 3 minutes to consider taking advantage of this offer to get away to be by my sick self and reflect on my running, life, and start a much needed running journal.  I found this pretty little notebook that my good friend Jen gave me.  I hadn't decided what to use it for but tonight I knew it would be the perfect book!

On the cover it has a quote that says:  "She decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language.  And birds fluttered around her, writing "Yes" in the sky!" Not so sure that has anything to do with why it makes a good running journal but I like it.  

I spread out my running magazines and books and loaded the Nora Jones station on Pandora and I was good to go!

I even took the time to flip through my old Marathon record books for some reminiscing and inspiration.

  

I finally found the perfect place for my SUAR Sticker. Much better than the toilet.  The top sticker is from Lindsay at Chasing the Kenyans.  Super motivational to me. Thanks for sending me one Lindsay!  If you can't see, it says :  " make yourself hurt and then push harder"

My weekly plan.  I left space after each workout so I can go back with different colored pens and write my reflections and how the workout actually went.  I included the shoes on the left page because one of my goals this month is to find some new light shoes.  I'm thinking Brooks Launch and Nike Frees are on my list. 

Oh, and speaking of creative journaling, I was desperate for nap today and in lieu of letting my three year old watch t.v, I was a bad mom and asked her to draw a picture on my back with gel pens.  Although I probably set an awful example and will have to reteach her to NOT write on her body with pen, IT. FELT. HEAVENLY!  It was worth every second of "What not to teach your child to do with gel pens" moment.  

Thank you for all the awesome comments on my last blog The Mind of a Runner!  I have some really great things to think about thanks to you.  My favorites were:


From Briana.  She included a quote that gets her going:  "Pain is only temporary.  It may last an hour, a day, or a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place.  If I quit, however, it lasts forever."  Lance Armstrong.  I included this in my running journal.  


From Jenn.  She included a mantra from a running prayer.  Love it.  In fact, I'm off to write this one down in my running journal now! 
"Oh Lord,
One more breath, 
One more step,
One more mile,
FINISH Line!

I can do ALL things through YOU who strengthens me!"

Do you keep a runner's log or journal?  


How do you keep record of your runs or workouts?  


If you're not a runner, do you keep a journal or write down your goals?

Amanda

It's The Little Things That Add Up

Woke up this morning feeling fresh and thankful for a new week to be back to routine after the holiday break.  I also woke up feeling excited for a new plan in my life.  Jess from Blond Ponytail posted recently about the emotions game where you take a picture of people showing an emotion.  The way I play is that you call out an emotion as you are clicking the camera and then you get the person to show that emotion on their face.  This game can be quite fun, especially if played with the right people.  My favorite emotions or feelings to call out are:  constipated, angry, shocked, irritated, need to sneeze, horny, just let one rip....oh so many fun ones.  Jess suggested I do a "I registered for Newport Marathon" emotion.  I thought about this and came up with several faces but overall I think I just feel strong, confident, happy and excited!  So here is my picture Jess.  Nothing exciting.  But I'll post some good emotion pictures soon and then I'll tag a bunch of you to do the same...it will be a photo tag so you won't have to do any big writing...just take pictures of yourself.

Spent some time in my journal this morning as I had my coffee. I took some time to list the things I'm thankful for as well as spend some time in prayer. The things I was most thankful for this morning were:


*  A reminder from one of my blog readers (from the question they asked me) that I am not doing enough for my spiritual growth.  
*  A day off from Running.  This has also meant a day off from reading about running (mostly) and thinking about running.  It has been nice.  The only big reminder has been my sore body from all the running lately.  
*  3 beautiful, happy, healthy children and a husband that I absolutely adore! 


The sun was pouring in the windows as I wrote and my kids quietly played together in the back room (not NORMAL).  It really was a perfect start to a day.  

I also had some time today to start reworking the first thoughts of the children's book my mom and I are doing together.  Writing a children's book is harder than it looks!  

Read a very sincere and raw post from Hungry Runner Girl that made me even more inspired by her and glad to know her through blog land.   


Was able to embrace my mess of a house instead of let it stress me out. This mess means that I have life around me.  It is MY mess and I'm thankful that I have precious little feet and hands around me to make that mess.  I think the SUN had a lot to do with this Peace and Zen-like mood that I was feeling.  We don't see the sun much around here during winter.  Here is what my house looks like OFTEN (without the sun):

Oh, and my husband asked me to return some items to the Columbia Store here in Portland.  It was the employee store so everything was so cheap!  I can't believe he sent me in there and expected me to get out with just a return.  It was like an Amanda Store...everything in there was made just for me!!  At least that is how it felt.  Active Wear Mecca!  Needless to say, I spent way more than I had intended.  And my 3 year old and 18 month old were awesome the entire hour.  They just ran around, hid under the clothes racks, screamed, and my 18 month old thought the clothes were meant to be a Tarzan rope.  Oh, and he shat ( I love the word shat.  Otherwise I would have said pooped) in his diaper and I didn't have wipes so I had to use paper towel.  But really they were awesome.  Here is a picture of me trying to show you my new top, fleece pants, and comfy slippers!  The shirt even has those great holes for your thumbs.  

Thanks again for all your support and encouragement about the Newport Marathon!  Your words are so motivating!  


1.  Is your house often messy or are you a clean freak that has to have everything in order at all times?  um, I have three kids ages 5 and under.  enough said?  Well, seriously, I think I would have a relatively clean and tidy house (within reason) if it were not for kids.  It is clean and tidy at least once a day but never longer than a few hours at a time.


2.  What do your closet and clothes drawers look like?  Are they all neat and tidy or would you be embarrassed if your company saw them?  I have NEVER had neat drawers or closet.  I always try but within a few weeks my closet and drawers are awful.  My drawers are mostly used for my pajamas and workout clothes and most of the time I just stuff them in there...or kind of fold and stuff.  I am always getting on my daughters for the same thing (I'm such a clothes organizer HYPOCRITE). My room is off limits to company.  Period.  


3.  Do you write in a journal?  







Amanda

Finding Time To Feed Your Soul

I've had a few people ask me recently how I find time to write a blog.  I've been thinking about this a lot lately and evaluating whether it is something I should make the time for.  In the beginning, setting up my blog took a lot of thought and energy and I was on here for hours on end after the kids were in bed.  Okay, since we are being honest, I was on it when the kids were not in bed too.  I started to wonder what I was thinking but now that I have my blog established and am understanding it a bit more, it really is only as time consuming as I let it be.  Today on my run I realized that this blog has become a way for me to write and reflect. It is a way for me to express myself and connect with a community of writers, mothers, runners, artists, and other like minded people.  Writing for me is one of my soul foods...it makes me happy.  It is something I do for ME.  I think it is essential that we take time or rather give time to ourselves to feed our soul.  It makes us grow and gives us energy to give to others.  That got me thinking of other ways I feed my soul during the day so that I have more to give as a mother, a wife, a friend. "It is always a balancing act" (words given today from a new blog "friend" at  Goals for the Week), and I don't think I can afford to NOT find some time for things that feed my soul.  It keeps me whole.  I took some pictures today whenever I felt myself doing something that felt nourishing to my soul. 

Coffee and Journal (yes, more writing) while music is on and the kids fight play



Giving Thanks Daily

Baby Writing in My Journal

Sharing My Journal Some More With Kids.  Coming across these entries really make my soul smile. 

Running, of course!

Happy Feet. Beautiful Autumn.

Stopping at a girlfriend's house for an unexpected visit before running home.  

My Mama's Art.  This is one of my favorites but they all make my soul happy.

What feeds your soul and what soul food do you make sure to make time for?

Amanda